Sleepy Murmurs
by ColdFrost
Summary: Stef is worried that Vanyel doesn't love him. Slash (obviously) nothing graphic. Please r
1. Default Chapter

I took this off a while ago, because I had the plan that I was going to rewrite some of it, but I've been too busy with exams etc.

So I'll change it later

All characters belong to Mercedes Lackey

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This is kind of strange. But I hope you like it n e way.

Please review.

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Stefen lent against the windowsill, as he watched Van stir in his slumber. Stef saw Vanyel scowl in his sleep, while he muttered something unintelligible. Stef watched as the greatest Herald Mage ever to live rolled over – in his bed. It made Stef smile to think that he of all people had one Vanyel's heart. Or at least, Vanyel had said as much. But sometimes Stef wondered…

Vanyel saw a person on top of a cliff, a dark silhouette against the moon. When he got closer Vanyel stopped.

'Stef?' he called out, wondering whether it was his love. The person turned around. Vanyel's eyes widened as he looked into the eyes of a blonde angel.

''Lendel?' Vanyel whispered hesitantly.

'Hello ashke,' the young man replied, reaching out to capture Vanyel's hand. 'It's been a long time since I last saw you,' Tylendel said, smiling wistfully. 'I see you've been busy saving the world again.'

'You were the one who taught me that I had to,' Vanyel reminded 'Lendel.

'Hmm. That's true. Only I didn't realise that you were the one who was going to be risking his life every time he turned around. It could have been so different.' Tylendel said, almost wishfully. 'I'm so sorry ashke. You have no idea how sorry I am.'

'I think I do,' Vanyel replied softly.

Tylendel winced as he heard the emotion in Vanyel's voice. 'I didn't want to hurt you,' 'Lendel murmured.

Vanyel shook his head, determined not to think of the past. 'What's done is done 'Lendel. Neither of us can turn back time.'

Stef sat upright as he heard Vanyel whisper ''Lendel?' in his sleep. Stef laughed humourlessly. So it was true; Vanyel's heart was still captured by a ghost. Stef shook his head; he couldn't believe that he fooled himself into believing that the greatest herald mage of all time – Vanyel Ashkevron- loved him. Stef looked at the sleeping man. Van was still tense from being out on the roads for the past few weeks. Lines of worry still etched on his face. Stef longed to take the older man in his arms, to comfort him, to love him, until all the worries went away.

Maybe he was imagining things. Maybe he was paranoid. Perhaps Vanyel hadn't said the name of his old lover. Possibly Stef was still the one Vanyel loved.

Stef muttered to himself. Telling himself that he shouldn't be jealous of a dead person. He didn't usually get all worked up when Vanyel talked about 'Lendel.

It had just been so long since Stef and Vanyel had been together, without being interrupted by a call for Vanyel to go out on the road. He had wanted tonight to be perfect. And it had been, until Stef had made the mistake of getting up in the middle of the night to have a drink.

Stef was no longer sure whether Van actually loved him. Once again Vanyel muttered in his sleep. ''Lendel wait…' Vanyel called out softly.

Tears filled Stef's emerald eyes, and threatened to overflow. He told himself that he was being over sensitive. But Stef wasn't in the mood to follow reason.

He promised himself that he was just going for a walk, but knew that was not true, as he got up and walked out of the room that he and Vanyel shared.

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I know it kind of didn't get anywhere, but it is only the first chap so things will improve.


	2. Chapter two

Warning: it gets a bit fluffy at the end.

Please review

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Stef wondered around aimlessly, in the cold early hours of the morning.

Vanyel looked into the eyes of his old lover. ''Lendel, is this just a dream, or is this something more?' Van asked curiously. His emotions seemed suspended; he discovered it really didn't matter if it was a dream or a vision from the gods. Tylendel smiled mischievously at Vanyel, and he stepped closer.

The distance between their lips was decreasing, when, suddenly, Tylendel disappeared. Darkness surrounded Van and visions he thought he had long forgotten flooded his mind. He saw Tylendel jumping from the tower, saw the death of the people, in the land of the Tayledras, that had caused him to first use his powers. And he saw a young man standing before him, his emerald eyes filled with love, but an arrow was stuck in the middle of his chest, the blood flowing freely.

'Stef!' Vanyel yelled out, and awoke with a start. Vanyel reached out an arm in the darkness, searching for Stef. His hand reached for something that wasn't there. Van sat up in panic, creating a number of mage-lights in his room. He looked around urgently, but Stef was gone. 'Don't panic,' Van said soothingly to himself. 'Maybe he's just gone for a walk.' But Vanyel had a feeling that this was not just a simple midnight stroll. He hurriedly reached for a pair of his breeches that were strewn across the floor. 'You're life bonded, you idiot,' Van muttered, once again talking to himself. 'You just have to sense for him.'

Van sent out his thoughts, looking for Stef. While he was doing this he called to Yfandes, 'have you seen him?'

'No, should I have?' 'Fandes asked, not aware of Van's inner turmoil, as he hadn't had his mind open to her.

'No, never mind. Wait, I can sense him. He's in one of the far palace gardens. What's he doing there?' Vanyel asked in bewilderment.

'Why don't you go ask him?' Yfandes subtly suggested. Van sent a quick affirmative to his companion and set off at a quick trot to the garden.

Stef sat down heavily on one of the stone benches that bordered this particular garden. He put his head in his hands as he leaned forward, trying to think of nothing. He could still hear the words ''Lendel, wait…' running through his head. 'Don't be an idiot,' he thought to himself, 'I knew that Van still loved Tylendel, I would be worried if he didn't, after everything he's told me. But,' Stef's treacherous mind continued, 'I didn't expect him to call out his old lover's name while we were together.' Tears once again filled Stef's eyes. 'I just wanted everything to be perfect,' Stef admitted to himself.

Stef was disturbed from his self-pitying thoughts as he heard footsteps coming up the stone pathway. 'Stef?' Vanyel called out in concern. Stef looked up as he saw Van come around the corner. He caught his breath as he realised that Van was topless. Vanyel looked around anxiously, and relaxed slightly as he saw Stef looking at him, from a low bench. 'What are you doing here?' Van asked.

'I just went for a walk,' Stef replied. Unfortunately he had forgotten that Van was an empath, and could read his pain.

'Stef, please. Tell me what's wrong.'

Stef tried to distract him by saying, 'I see that this time you remembered to put breeches on. The last time you went running out in the middle of the night, a gardener got a very big shock.'

Van blushed slightly, but wasn't deterred. 'You're avoiding the conversation,' he said softly. 'What made you go walking in the middle of the night?'

'It's nothing.'

Van frowned, but said nothing; he had a feeling that Stef would talk to him when he was ready. They both sat in silence for a while before Stef suddenly asked, 'you still miss him, don't you?'

'Miss who?' Van asked, unsure of where the conversation was going.

'Tylendel,' Stef replied softly, not looking at Vanyel.

Van sighed, as he started to get an idea where this was heading. 'Yes. I still miss him,' Van decided that he would tell the truth, and not gloss over the things that Stef probably didn't want to hear. 'He was the first person who knew the real me. The first person to love me for who I was. Why did you want to know?'

Stef's eyes filled with tears as he heard the love that Van held for Tylendel. 'You were calling out for him, that's all.'

'While I was asleep?' Van asked, but did not wait for an answer. 'Stef, look at me.' At first Stef kept his head tuned away, but when Van said softly 'please?' Stef couldn't refuse. Vanyel looked into the emerald yes before him, as he tried to sense what Stef was feeling. His eye widened as he realised what Stef was thinking.

'You think I don't love you?' Vanyel asked incredulously. Stef didn't answer. 'Stef. Of course I love you. I dreamed of 'Lendel, yes. But that was just a dream, which turned into a nightmare anyway, but that's not the point. It was you I was expecting to wake up next to. Stef, we are life bonded. That wouldn't have happened if I didn't love you.'

Stef looked up and saw the love in Vanyel's silver eyes. He smiled slightly, 'I'm sorry. I was just being silly.'

'You're allowed to be silly. Stef, no matter what happens I want you to remember that I love you.' To prove his point, Vanyel lowered his lips to the young man before him.

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I know it got a bit fluffy, but I'm sure you can deal with it.

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Please review!


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